FIVE.OH
Words With Friends… Damn game. I love it, yet I hate it so. I consistently get my ass kicked by certain handles i.e. Wild Bill Kelso and brady316 but hold my own against others. Yeah, I know it’s a game about strategy and not so much the words themselves but still, LOSE EVERY TIME?! I’ve come close to stopping altogether but then there’s those other players I consistently win against. So, I guess there’s a balance there. Seriously though, “non” isn’t a word? And Jeax is?! Howsabout “qi”? Like that one? Play the Q on a triple word score and go nuts people!
I hope you appreciate this comic. I say that because, unless you live in a cave or are in the 2% of Americans who don’t have a smart phone, you play this game. You know what I’m talking about. Feel like taking me on? NOLLIJ is my handle. Challenge! Be warned though. I know how to use the chat and will use it often. Especially if you decide you’re going to beat me consistently.
Your face,
Five.Oh
TRASHBOT
What? You get a thousand monkeys and you can type Shakespeare? You get seven letters and hit play enough times you can make some B.S. word. I used to be good at this game then other people found my secret out. Now I am one of the people Five.Oh constantly beats. (see: shadow mode). My Words Wiff Friends goes like this. Morning I usually do o.k. I have some coffee and work is boring. Noon, I don’t play; I am busy eating cause I’m a fat trash can. Evening, I play a whole bunch of sexual innuendos cause I am usually intoxicated. Oh, and tell me why you can play Japan, but not Mongolia?!! That is all!!
TRASHBOT!
ARGUMENTOR
My therapist advised that I keep an “Emotions Journal,” so I figured that this was good enough. But these are my secret-private thoughts so I was hoping that you would all do me the courtesy of respecting my privacy.
It’s been four hours since my last round of words with friends and my left cheek is back to its old twitch. I must feed the hunger; I must scratch the “Words with Friends” itch. I once switched phones and lost my ability to sign on to Words with Friends; I went two weeks without a play and it ended up with me enduring a fit, blacking out, and regaining consciousness somewhere in the Sonoran Desert – a gnawed off hind quarter from a wild white tailed deer in my left hand and a sharpened sycamore branch in my right hand. I was completely stripped from the keyboard down and covered in mosquito bites. The cracked parchment I called my throat screamed at the desert sky in broken and roughly hewn bursts of brittle rage as I attempted to rub the blear from my eyes. It was two days out of the wilderness, most of it crawling on my belly taking company with the lizard and the scorpion alike. Then I caught the “route #3″ bus back to my apartment. That’s when a good friend (NOT A GREAT FRIEND MIND YOU) told me that you have to COMPLETELY uninstall the program from the old phone in order to “sign out” and re-sign into your new phone to get it to work with the new phone.
The experience left me so that there is still a break between me and my very humanity. I still sear at even the thought of human touch…
So, my absence from work caused me to lose my job as the guy who applies the “inspected by” stickers on the inside of bikinis – not the inspector himself, just the guy who applies the stickers. Now I have plenty of time to play Words with Friends…www.scrabblefinder.com helps…A LOT. But YOU knew that already didn’t you, you dirty cheater!?!?!
Yours in the Infinite Mind Hug,
ARGUMENTOR!!!!!
P.S. Thanks again for respecting my privacy!